I gripped the neck of the green Coca-Cola bottle hidden beneath the folds of my ragged skirt. Not much protection, but all I had. The five of us Dulin Kids sat like statues on the worn brown sofa and stared at the butcher knife Dad held at Mom’s throat…
Emotional and physical trauma, such as depicted in the above scene from my childhood, is one of many factors that can contribute to the development of binge eating disorder (BED). Childhood trauma, especially when it occurs before the age of nine or ten, is an especially strong force that often drives us toward binge eating. How this plays out is fascinating.
Learning to Self-soothe in a Safe Home
Self-soothing is one of the earliest and most important coping skills we learn as children.
In a safe home, young children learn to soothe themselves by being comforted and soothed by their parents…
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If you have an itch or a yearning to write your memoir, I encourage you to go for it. Even if you are the only one who reads it, writing your story can bring unimaginable gifts.
Fifteen months ago, I anxiously waited for my memoir, Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph to go live on Amazon. What a wonderful, unexpected and humbling time it has been.
I took a huge risk by writing and publishing my memoir. My entire life was focused on keeping quiet, not telling, protecting those I loved, or who loved me. It took me a long time to understand that by keeping quiet, I was actually protecting the people who hurt me in my life. Writing Untangled was a way to announce in a really big way, that I will not keep quiet any longer.
I literally went from telling no one but my therapist…
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Logic becomes a loud voice when the wall of our past abuse begin to crack with awareness. The child within, who had the experience, talks to us through flashes of insights. Trust your perceptions. They are a powerful guide to healing. --Jeanne McElvaney Childhood Abuse: Tips to Change Child Abuse Effects Trust Your Perceptions
For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, recovery is a slow, frustrating and tedious process. The frequent complaints of pain and emotional distress are often dismissed by loved ones and even mental health professionals as malingering and a lack of desire to heal and get better. However, recent trauma research indicates that these complaints are the direct result of the real physiological damage done to survivors while they were exposed to the prolonged emotional and psychological trauma of an abusive relationship.
Trauma, which is the Greek word for “wound,” is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope or integrate the emotions invoked with that experience– Wikipedia. Long term exposure to the chronic emotional and psychological trauma of narcissistic abuse predisposes the brain to be in a constant state of “flight or flight” or hyper alert due to the repeated elevation of the stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol. The constant surge of cortisol not only causes many…
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image from pinterest source here
People who have mental pain, have trouble in day to day situations, where other people seem to float right through.
Everyone around us seems to have a better handle on just getting through life, than we do. It is so easy to become discouraged by watching other people do things that we either cannot do, or cannot do without mental anguish.
People are good at things that they have had the background, the support, and the early wiring to be good at. Even the things we learn when we are older, are easier to learn if we were wired properly when we were growing up.
A lot of the people you are comparing yourself to had parents that helped them to follow the normal development stages and they also had the mental stability to process all of the stages properly, in…
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This is me at 17 years of age
I can’t tell you how much the response meant to me after I posted Til it Happens to you. The support was incredible! I was too overcome to respond for a while. People have asked how I got through it all. I suffered status epilepticus at 13, meaning I had continual seizures which couldn’t be controlled. I stopped breathing and was in a coma. It took a long time to recover from this event (it was predicted I wouldn’t). The next year, I met a monster, and was abused. The finale was being thrown off a building at fifteen. My healing has taken over twenty years. There are some things that have helped.
1. I can’t handle violence of any kind. I can’t discuss literature, nor movies, let alone view them, if they are violent. At first, I didn’t want people to…
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