Tag Archives: toxic relationships

On the thorny subject of forgiveness

Emerging From The Dark Night

Many of us who have been wounded in childhood may have been told by others we won’t find any true peace until we forgive.  Most particularly if we are involved in church circles or other religious or spiritual communities forgiveness may be promoted as the ideal to aspire to.  But the truth is a forgiveness that is assumed or forced before we have really worked through, felt and owned all the complex feelings we have experienced about what happened to us, may come at too a high price.

This kind of forgiveness may be premature and may lead us to make excuses for others who really aren’t showing the necessary contrition.  It may keep us in denial or stalemated at the level of pure intellectual insight alone and it may keep us open to further abuse.  If it comes at the cost of denial or minimisation of the depth of pain…

View original post 670 more words

What You Need To Know About Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Free From Toxic

Healing The Trauma of Narcissistic Abuse Healing The Trauma of Narcissistic Abuse

For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, recovery is a slow, frustrating and tedious process. The frequent complaints of pain and emotional distress are often dismissed by loved ones and even mental health professionals as malingering and a lack of desire to heal and get better.  However, recent trauma research indicates that these complaints are the direct result of the real physiological damage done to survivors while they were exposed to the prolonged emotional and psychological trauma of an abusive relationship.

Trauma, which is the Greek word for “wound,” is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope or integrate the emotions invoked with that experience– Wikipedia. Long term exposure to the chronic emotional and psychological trauma of narcissistic abuse predisposes the brain to be in a constant state of  “flight or flight” or hyper alert due to the repeated elevation of the stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol.  The constant surge of cortisol not only causes many…

View original post 717 more words

The Etch Chats

Emotional abuse is much more insidious than physical abuse. Psychological bruising may not show up on your body but its devastating effects are indirectly observed in victim behaviour. It is important to remember that signs of emotional abuse are not as well defined as in physical abuse and tolerated much too often as acceptable behaviour. If you experience any of the below treatment from anyone, please stop putting up with it and either keep your distance or cut them off from your life immediately.

1. They humiliate you, put you down, or make fun of you in front of other people.

2. They regularly demean or disregard your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs.

3. They use sarcasm or “teasing” to put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

4. They accuse you of being “too sensitive” in order to deflect their abusive remarks.

5. They try to control…

View original post 320 more words

The Hashtag, #IfMyWoundsWereVisible, Is Raising Awareness About Narcissistic Abuse

Free From Toxic

nabuseawareness

June 1st is Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day. Let’s raise awareness by using the hashtag ‪#‎IfMyWoundsWereVisible‬ on all social media.

Get involved in this campaign to raise awareness by logging into your Twitter account and send out a tweet using the hashtag #IfMyWoundsWereVisible and complete the sentence.

Let’s try to raise public awareness about this very covert and insidious form of abuse and also reach people with who may not be believed and let them know we believe them, we get it, and there is support and hope for happiness and freedom after narcissistic abuse. You can also click on the Twitter hashtag to read what other people have tweeted.

Here Are Some Special Offers In Support of This Event.

Richard Grannon, The Spartan Life Coach, has just released…

View original post 59 more words

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/tech-support/201502/8-types-toxic-patterns-in-mother-daughter-relationships?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost

This article focusses on emotional abuse, toxic and disordered mothers inflict on their daughters.

It is sad when you read through insightful articles, and realise you are ticking all the types of toxic behaviours and as you go down the list.

It is important the ‘parentification’ (role reversed) abuse, is highlighted as not commonly known or talked about. It is a deep form of neglect and abuse, rarely understood.

My mother is a deeply toxic, disordered, sick, unwell, intentionally abusive woman. And I have no guilt in saying that anymore. There were more abusive behaviours from my mother, than detailed in this article.

And it is needed to be understood – other types of abuse can cause even greater damage, like physical abuse and sexual abuse/sexual exploitation and often to far greater depths, because they are combined with this emotional abuse.

It is an act of self compassion and healing…

View original post 102 more words

International Women’s Day and Gaslighting

A Spoonful of Parenting

Today, March 8th 2016, is International Women’s Day. Although we barely recognize it as a holiday in the U.S., apparently it is a big deal in other countries. My daughter is living in Russia, and she has been advised to stay off the streets yesterday and today to protect herself from all the drunken celebrations.

So, in my own way, I’d like to celebrate women (without the drunkenness). One of the best ways I can think of is to empower women who feel they have lost their voice. Who feel they are of no worth. Who are victims in domestic violence.

What happens in the home is the tutor for future generational relationships. There is a strong correlation in research between those who witness or experience abuse during childhood and subsequent violence toward children in adulthood.

Approximately 15.5 million American children living in a 2-parent household are exposed to…

View original post 1,096 more words