Tag Archives: shame

Understanding and Healing the Scapegoat Within

Emerging From The Dark Night

offended

The family scapegoat receives the shadow projections of the family. They are the one that carries and tries to express qualities, needs, reactions and expressions which may not have had a chance or live in the family.  Often if we review the family history we will be able to see a pattern or something the scapegoat is trying to live for the family that could not be expressed, or struggled to be expressed over generations.

There is also collective element to the scapegoat which means certain qualities in any particular culture are accepted and are seen as valuable to express where as others may be demonised. Religious beliefs create the scapegoat by dictating what is “holy” and what is “demonic” and so create splits. The pervasive spread of the Catholic zeitgeist, for example, reveres qualities of self sacrifice, meekness, chastity and in many ways a repression of essential elements of…

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Emotional Abuse

The Journey is YOU..........and you are UNIQUE.

Emotional abuse is an uncomfortable reality, a social taboo. As such, it is the least talked about yet most common form of abuse. It is insidious and subjective in nature. Due to language and cultural differences — depending on the individuals, the setting and the culture — some abuses are simply overlooked because they are intangible, invisible and physically immeasurable, so they can easily be “played-down,” brushed-off or ignored. So much so that it is not uncommon for victims themselves to not even realize that they have been, or are being, psychologically violated.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is absolutely inaccurate. On the surface emotional abuse may seem like “only words” and perhaps that doesn’t appear to be severe or dramatic, but the effects of emotional abuse are very damaging, run deeper and have longer-lasting effects than physical abuse. Physical scars heal…

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Cracked Pots

Glimpses of the Greater

Shattered pieces

Shards of clay

Life has handled us roughly

The once smooth texture

Now riddled with a thousand cracks

Damaged goods

Too far gone

We slide to the back of the shelf

Hide ourselves behind the unbroken pots

And we give up on ourselves

But He doesn’t

He searches in the shadows

For those who hide

For those whose confidence has shattered

To bring restoration and to bring new hope

Cracks of shame

Filled with the clay of grace

Old scars of torment

Now our tale of redemption

We step forward

Back into the light

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PTSD - Accepting, Coping, Thriving

This one is tricky.  Hard to pin down since emotions are so volatile and changing with a thought.  How secure you are within yourself makes it harder for someone to abuse you emotionally.  This link is one of those annoying ones that you have to click after every paragraph but the signs are important to be aware of to spot those that use emotion to manipulate others.  http://www.beliefnet.com/wellness/galleries/9-signs-you-are-in-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship.aspx?

  1. You feel like you are on emotional roller coaster.  Another description is you feel like you are walking on egg shells, terrified of the next flair up.
  2. They isolate you.  They don’t want you having contact with friends or family.  This may seem very romantic at first that they want you all to themselves but no one can be your everything.  Family and friendships need to be maintained.  They need other friends too.
  3. Jealousy….not just of other people but your dreams and…

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F2 to my Memoir

Silence, secrets and shame are three threads that run through all types of abuse from emotional abuse to domestic violence.

Marie Abanga's Blog

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When I published F1 last Tuesday, I advised to buckle up for F2. I am honoured to know Nancy through the Knowledge Gateway for Women’s Empowerement. She is one dynamic entrepreneur and author, one who has indeed made a remarkable victory over voilence and is now imapcting several other women including my modest self.

Domestic Violence and Codes of Silence,By Nancy Salamone (A Former Wallstreet Executive)

Domestic violence is a social disease that carries with it a “culture of silence”. In fact if you Google “culture of silence and domestic violence” you get over 1.7 million returns. Domestic violence is still one of the most under-reported crimes and it is the culture of silence that shames women (and yes even men), into enduring domestic violence.

I know firsthand about the insidious nature of a “culture of silence”. I was brought up in a Sicilian Roman Catholic family in New…

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