Tag Archives: self-care

Enmeshment – Separating Ourselves from the Narcissist

After Narcissistic Abuse

What Was Meant for Evil, God Uses for Good.

This post isn’t to glorify or laud the narcissist that intended to harm us with praise for helping us change. Not at all, in fact, this post is a testament to the power of the human spirit lit on fire, determined to heal itself and move past a traumatic encounter with a person who’s sinister character FORCED us to change.

Enmeshment is different than two people being very close. Close relationships are a wonderful part of life and often allow for appropriate independence within the relationship. Enmeshment, however, becomes a problem because the individual involved loses their own identity.  Narcissists prevent the autonomy we need in order to grow emotionally and individually.

These days, I am very much separated from the narcissist that abused me. I’ve gone on to forgive them and separated their character and actions from my life and core…

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How to be your own parent

how to have a breakdown

If healing were a linear narrative (which it most certainly isn’t), my most recent realizations would be significant enough to indicate a new milestone.

What I mean, is that my curiosity about why I am the way I am as an adult has led me to the concept of emotional neglect. If you want to familiarize yourself with this concept, I would recommend checking out the work of psychologist Dr Jonice Webb. I found her through a great episode of the podcast “Mental Illness Happy Hour” which can be found here.

Essentially though, the idea is that sometimes the most harm comes not from abuse that is inflicted upon an individual, but instead what is withheld from them. It’s often really hard to recognize after the fact because there isn’t a specific incident or experience to remember, instead it’s the absence of an experience that becomes harmful.

As Dr. Jonice…

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