Tag Archives: recovery

Enmeshment – Separating Ourselves from the Narcissist

After Narcissistic Abuse

What Was Meant for Evil, God Uses for Good.

This post isn’t to glorify or laud the narcissist that intended to harm us with praise for helping us change. Not at all, in fact, this post is a testament to the power of the human spirit lit on fire, determined to heal itself and move past a traumatic encounter with a person who’s sinister character FORCED us to change.

Enmeshment is different than two people being very close. Close relationships are a wonderful part of life and often allow for appropriate independence within the relationship. Enmeshment, however, becomes a problem because the individual involved loses their own identity.  Narcissists prevent the autonomy we need in order to grow emotionally and individually.

These days, I am very much separated from the narcissist that abused me. I’ve gone on to forgive them and separated their character and actions from my life and core…

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On the thorny subject of forgiveness

Emerging From The Dark Night

Many of us who have been wounded in childhood may have been told by others we won’t find any true peace until we forgive.  Most particularly if we are involved in church circles or other religious or spiritual communities forgiveness may be promoted as the ideal to aspire to.  But the truth is a forgiveness that is assumed or forced before we have really worked through, felt and owned all the complex feelings we have experienced about what happened to us, may come at too a high price.

This kind of forgiveness may be premature and may lead us to make excuses for others who really aren’t showing the necessary contrition.  It may keep us in denial or stalemated at the level of pure intellectual insight alone and it may keep us open to further abuse.  If it comes at the cost of denial or minimisation of the depth of pain…

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What You Need To Know About Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Free From Toxic

Healing The Trauma of Narcissistic Abuse Healing The Trauma of Narcissistic Abuse

For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, recovery is a slow, frustrating and tedious process. The frequent complaints of pain and emotional distress are often dismissed by loved ones and even mental health professionals as malingering and a lack of desire to heal and get better.  However, recent trauma research indicates that these complaints are the direct result of the real physiological damage done to survivors while they were exposed to the prolonged emotional and psychological trauma of an abusive relationship.

Trauma, which is the Greek word for “wound,” is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope or integrate the emotions invoked with that experience– Wikipedia. Long term exposure to the chronic emotional and psychological trauma of narcissistic abuse predisposes the brain to be in a constant state of  “flight or flight” or hyper alert due to the repeated elevation of the stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol.  The constant surge of cortisol not only causes many…

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The true definition of “Healing”

roadtotranscendence

Healing…

Such a powerful and terrifying word.

Entirely elusive in its very nature…and yet completely attainable. While it is reserved for the strong, there are no restrictions on anyone becoming strong enough to reach it. At the same time, you must find the strength to find the strength…

So here I am left on this undeniably painful path to recovery. Recovery from the past, the present and simply…recovery from life, which has left me questioning why (or how) some are able to find themselves “healed” while others are simply moving through this world in a state of pure survival rather than living.

This questioning has also left me on a path of discovery. If I can find the answer to the why (or how) then I can find my way to that all too sought after feeling of being healed. That all too sought after peace.

In light of everything…

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5 Beliefs That Stalled My Healing

Healing from abuse really is a journey. At times it is hard work, it can be frustrating, scary, cathartic, ecstatic, rage inducing, panic triggering. It can be all those things in the span of 5 minutes even. Above all, healing from abuse is worth your while. As with any journey, sometimes the mountains seem to high, the potholes too deep and the road too long. I too have felt overwhelmed and stuck on my road to recovery. What I found is that sometimes your own beliefs about your journey, are precisely the reason you got stuck.

Here are 5 beliefs that stalled my healing and kept me from embracing my healing journey and moving from surviving to thriving.

via 5 Beliefs That Stalled My Healing from swanwaters.com.