Throughout my years in therapy, validation was comparable to receiving a gift, at times triggering tears of sadness, yet happiness and contentment at the same time. Finally, someone was not ignoring me, was respecting my feelings and best of all, no interruptions with cruel words. As a daughter of a narcissistic mother, very rarely showing any validation, empathy and usually telling me “you’re making things up again.”, this was all new to me.
Validation means to express understanding and acceptance of another person’s internal experience, whatever that might be. Validation does not mean you agree or approve. Validation builds relationships and helps ease upset feelings. Knowing that you are understood and that your emotions and thoughts are accepted by others is powerful. Validation is like relationship glue. – psychologytoday.com
This article from PsychCentral.com explains ‘Validation’.
Have you ever wished you could take back an email that you sent when you were…
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If you have an itch or a yearning to write your memoir, I encourage you to go for it. Even if you are the only one who reads it, writing your story can bring unimaginable gifts.
Fifteen months ago, I anxiously waited for my memoir, Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph to go live on Amazon. What a wonderful, unexpected and humbling time it has been.
I took a huge risk by writing and publishing my memoir. My entire life was focused on keeping quiet, not telling, protecting those I loved, or who loved me. It took me a long time to understand that by keeping quiet, I was actually protecting the people who hurt me in my life. Writing Untangled was a way to announce in a really big way, that I will not keep quiet any longer.
I literally went from telling no one but my therapist…
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When you hear the word “psychopath”, you might think of Hannibal Lecter or Ted Bundy, but most psychopaths are actually non-violent and non-incarcerated members of society. In fact, there’s a good chance they’ll seem exceptionally altruistic and innocent to the average onlooker.
As described in the Psychopath Free book, psychopaths are first and foremost social predators. With no conscience, they’re able to use charm and manipulation to get what they want from others—whether it be families, friendships, relationships, cults, the workplace, or even politics. The bottom line is, they modify their personalities to become exactly the person they think you want them to be. And they’re good at it.
But when they no longer need anything from you, that’s when the crazy-making behavior begins. Here are some common phrases you’ll hear from a psychopath who’s trying to make you doubt your sanity:
1. “You over-analyze everything.”
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This article focusses on emotional abuse, toxic and disordered mothers inflict on their daughters.
It is sad when you read through insightful articles, and realise you are ticking all the types of toxic behaviours and as you go down the list.
It is important the ‘parentification’ (role reversed) abuse, is highlighted as not commonly known or talked about. It is a deep form of neglect and abuse, rarely understood.
My mother is a deeply toxic, disordered, sick, unwell, intentionally abusive woman. And I have no guilt in saying that anymore. There were more abusive behaviours from my mother, than detailed in this article.
And it is needed to be understood – other types of abuse can cause even greater damage, like physical abuse and sexual abuse/sexual exploitation and often to far greater depths, because they are combined with this emotional abuse.
It is an act of self compassion and healing…
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This is me at 17 years of age
I can’t tell you how much the response meant to me after I posted Til it Happens to you. The support was incredible! I was too overcome to respond for a while. People have asked how I got through it all. I suffered status epilepticus at 13, meaning I had continual seizures which couldn’t be controlled. I stopped breathing and was in a coma. It took a long time to recover from this event (it was predicted I wouldn’t). The next year, I met a monster, and was abused. The finale was being thrown off a building at fifteen. My healing has taken over twenty years. There are some things that have helped.
1. I can’t handle violence of any kind. I can’t discuss literature, nor movies, let alone view them, if they are violent. At first, I didn’t want people to…
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A must-read for any one that has suffered from narcissistic abuse.
Narcissistic abuse syndrome is something I know all too well, as I grew up with 2 parents that are on the spectrum of narcissism, one of them having Narcissistic Personality Disorder and the other having a mix of Narcissism/Histrionic and Borderline Personality Disorder.
I have suffered from depression, anxiety, ptsd & low self esteem since I was a child and I never understood why I always felt so sad and so different to other children.This was the result of the abuse I suffered from my mother & father who didn’t know what ‘normal or healthy’ looked like. I was always made to feel like I was too sensitive, too weak, too stupid or too opinionated. I now know that I am none of those things! I did however carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, as my parents trained me well ‘to cater to theiremotional needs ahead…
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Parents with narcissistic personality disorder never think of their adult children as adults. There is no respect for boundaries or your right to make your own decisions.
While other parents guide their children to become independent adults, narcissistic parents attempt to condition their children to serve their agenda.
Whether you are the golden child or the scapegoat is dependent on a variety of factors. Usually one child is chosen to be the golden child. If they comply with the wishes of the narcissistic parent, then they will probably retain that role. Otherwise they are in danger of being knocked off of the pedestal.
The scapegoat child is often the one that insisted on being authentic and questioned or exposed the methods of the narcissistic parent. Other times the scapegoated child just got that role because there was already a golden child in place.
The narcissistic parent projects the qualities of…
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I love this!
Broken crayons still color… What significant words to reflect upon. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. And one of the best ways to love yourself is to have purpose. Do something to help someone else feel better. Send a little ripple of hope out into the Universe for someone else. It will magnify and be reciprocated.