Tag Archives: no-contact

Honor Thy Narcissistic Mother: the 4th Commandment and Going “No Contact”

A Word, Please. . .

Two weeks ago as I was crawling into bed, my phone pinged with a text from a childhood friend, Serina.  Little emoji party horns were all over it, with an invitation.  Her father was turning 90. Would my family celebrate with them?  Her family was the only family we knew when I was growing up, the weekend in the cabin family, the camping family, the chicken curry family (her dad is Pakistani), the family that came over for Thanksgiving dinner. There was one problem:  my mother would be there.

In May, I decided to go “No Contact” with my narcissistic mother. It was after my housewarming party, where she ignored me except to insult me, and later when I confronted her, gaslightedme.  Her snide comment that day had not been the apex of her cruelty. The most cruel? Years ago when I told her I was finally pregnant with a long awaited  3rd child…

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Narcissistic Abuse, Recovery, and the Importance of Right Healing

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

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Experts say it takes more time to recover from a breakup with a narcissist (be that a friendship, colleague, family member, partner, or spouse) because you have to grieve twice. You grieve first for the person the narcissist pretended to be (your most loyal friend, soulmate, perfect boss) and then you grieve yet again about the horror of who they actually are: your worst nightmare.

Exactly like drug addiction you are high from the intensity during the initial stages of the relationship. You spend the rest of the entire relationship wanting to get back to that initial high that never comes. Being in a relationship with a narcissist is akin to being addicted to heroin. It will slowly kill you. The longer you stay with a narcissist and endure intermittent cycles of abuse, followed by “loving” treatment, you become MORE attached through a process known as trauma bonding.

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I…

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