Tag Archives: emotional neglect

How to be your own parent

how to have a breakdown

If healing were a linear narrative (which it most certainly isn’t), my most recent realizations would be significant enough to indicate a new milestone.

What I mean, is that my curiosity about why I am the way I am as an adult has led me to the concept of emotional neglect. If you want to familiarize yourself with this concept, I would recommend checking out the work of psychologist Dr Jonice Webb. I found her through a great episode of the podcast “Mental Illness Happy Hour” which can be found here.

Essentially though, the idea is that sometimes the most harm comes not from abuse that is inflicted upon an individual, but instead what is withheld from them. It’s often really hard to recognize after the fact because there isn’t a specific incident or experience to remember, instead it’s the absence of an experience that becomes harmful.

As Dr. Jonice…

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Emotionally Neglected Children May Feel Like They Are Ghosts

The Invisible Scar

[photo credit: flickr user Andrea Much][photo credit: flickr user Andrea Much]

“Emotional Neglect is the white space in the family picture; the background rather than the foreground. It is insidious and overlooked while it does its silent damage to people’s lives.” (Dr. Jonice Webb)

Editor’s note: I use “he” because “he or she” can interrupt the flow of sentences. But abuse can happen to any gender.

An emotionally abused child may sometimes feel like a ghost in his own home. He passes through its corridors, affects its surroundings, interacts (as best as he can) with the other people in the house… but he feels like no one quite sees him.

Or listens to him.

Or understands him.

Or cares for him.

Or loves him.

People outside the house can see this child. And from the outside, these neighbors, family friends, relatives, and teachers may see this gleaming, shiny family, paragons of the community, and believe…

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Book Review: Conflicted Hearts – A Daughter’s Quest for Solace from Emotional Guilt by D.G. Kaye

MEMOIR/NONFICTION A Lifetime of guilt — What does it take to finally break free? Somehow I believed it was my obligation to try to do the right thing by her because she had given birth to me. Burdened with constant worry for her father and the guilt caused by her mother’s narcissism, D.G. Kaye had a short childhood. When she moved away from home at age eighteen, she began to grow into herself, overcoming her lack of guidance and her insecurities. Her life experiences became her teachers, and she learned from the mistakes and choices she made along the way, plagued by the guilt she carried for her mother. Conflicted Hearts is a heartfelt journey of self-discovery and acceptance, an exploration of the quest for solace from emotional guilt.

via Book Review: Conflicted Hearts – A Daughter’s Quest for Solace from Emotional Guilt by D.G. Kaye.