Tag Archives: emotional child abuse

News Flash: Changes Coming

broken-vessel

The Broken Vessel is moving. As many of you know, The Broken Vessel is a category on this blog that features posts about emotional abuse and the effects of emotional abuse, especially on ACoNs (adult children of narcissists) that I’ve used to raise awareness about emotional abuse.  However, this is a writing blog and The Broken Vessel has outgrown is space on my this blog. So, I’m moving it to my website which is still under construction until April 1st. However, you’re welcome to take a peek. You can find my website at LynetteDavisAuthor.wordpress.com. If you do take a peek, please let me know what you think.

In it’s new home, The Broken Vessel will be much broader, and will feature weekly posts about narcissism, emotional abuse, emotional child abuse, PTSD, complex PTSD and dysfunctional family relationships, in addition to inspirational posts, uplifting quotes, as well as my thoughts and reflections on books on the subject of narcissism, and its affect on ACoNs (adult children of narcissists).

Also, for those of you who have been asking, pre-orders for my debut memoir–Even Rain Is Just Water will available April 1st. For every book that is sold during the month of April (Child Abuse Prevention Month), $1 will be donated to Kids Central Inc. This child welfare agency, located in Central Florida, develops and manages a comprehensive community-based system of care for abused, neglected and abandoned children and their families. You can visit them at kidscentralinc.org.

 

 

 

The Invisible Scar

what-really-happened-finding-out-you-head-an-emotionally-abusive-childhood-lgHave you recently come to the realization that you’ve had an emotionally abusive childhood? If so, that awakening to the truth can be brutal. But do know that you’re not alone.

At The Invisible Scar, I receive tons of emails from people who have had this epiphany. And I tell them that, though this discovery is a hard one, you can get through this difficult time and move along the healing journey.

By popular demand, I’ve collected my articles covering that first part of the healing journey—waking up to the truth of your emotionally abusive childhood —and put them in a PDF for you. The 11 articles have been updated and expanded for a longer read.

This 92-page PDF is not intended to give professional advice nor take the place of a therapist. The articles are fueled by my extensive reading about emotional child abuse, stories shared by…

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After Narcissistic Abuse

ChildAbuseImageWithHand1

1. REJECTING 

Narcissistic Parents or caregivers who display rejecting behavior toward a child will often [purposefully or unconsciously] let a child know, in a variety of ways, that he or she is unwanted. Putting down a child’s worth or belittling their needs is one form these types of emotional abuse may take. Other examples can include telling a child to leave or worse, to get out of your face, calling him names or telling the child that he is worthless, making a child the family scapegoat or blaming him for family/sibling problems. Refusing to talk to or holding a young child as he or she grows can also be considered abuse.

  • constant criticism
  • name-calling
  • telling child he/she is ugly
  • yelling or swearing at the child
  • frequent belittling and use of labels such as “stupid” or “idiot”
  • constant demeaning jokes
  • verbal humiliation
  • constant teasing about child’s body type and/or weight
  • expressing…

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Four Sanity-Saving Tips for Ignoring Mother’s Day

The Invisible Scar

[photo credit: flickr user missy.killer!] [photo credit: flickr user missy.killer!] How should you celebrate Mother’s Day when your mother was emotionally abusive?

Short answer: You don’t have to celebrate it.

Short answer for adult survivors who are mothers: You celebrate your being a mom, and you reflect, pray, and learn about being a better one every day.

Last year, I wrote about celebrating Mother’s Day when you have an abusive mother. But this year, I wanted to write about another option: ignoring the holiday altogether.

You can ignore Mother’s Day, you know.

You’re not under any moral obligation to celebrate this holiday. After all, it didn’t even come to existence until 1914! Anna Jarvis started Mother’s Day in the United States to honor her mom’s life and inspire people to honor their own moms. But the holiday got quickly out of control, with huge candy corporations and greeting-card companies exploiting the holiday…

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The Silent Treatment [Types of Emotional Child Abuse Series, Part 1]

The Invisible Scar

ignored [via tumblr]When you look up thedefinition of emotional child abuse, several examples are listed: giving the silent treatment, ranking children unnecessarily, being condescending, bunny boiling, gaslighting children, scapegoating, sabotaging, favoritism, triangulation, pathological (or compulsive) lying, smearing, corrupting, ignoring, corrupting, terrorizing, isolation, and inappropriate control. 

To better understand the different facets of emotional child abuse, we’ll be exploring one trait per post.

In this post, we’ll look more closely at the emotionally abusive form of child abuse called “the silent treatment” (also “withholding”). It is also used in adult relationships, but for the purpose and focus of The Invisible Scar, we’ll study the silent treatment as it relates to children.

No discussion of emotional abuse through words would be complete without including the absence of words as a form of abuse. This is commonly known as the ‘silent treatment.’ Abusers punish their victims by refusing to speak…

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Are you the Scapegoat in Your Family?

GentleKindness

Scapegoating is a term that is used for the one person in a dysfunctional family that is targeted by the abusive family member for receiving the most aggressive abuse.

Usually this person is targeted by the abuser because of their resistance to pretending that the household is normal.

If you were the truth teller in the family then you pointed out when boundaries were being crossed and when the other people were being mistreated.You were the one that probably defended siblings who were being abused. You may have tried to draw the abuse towards yourself in order to protect younger siblings from getting the brunt of it.

Very often the main abusive parent has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, although there are other personality disorders which cause people to abuse their children, like Malignant Borderline Personality Disorder. 

The narcissistic parent us the focal point of the family because they demand that…

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