Tag Archives: dysfunctional families

A Call for Reviewers (of Memoir)

Book Review picture

My memoir Even Rain Is Just Water is now available for review. And I’m offering a digital copy (epub or mobi) of the ARC (advanced review copy) via Netgalley to followers of my blog, ahead of the June 30th paperback release. I know some of you love to read memoirs as much as I do!

Here is what a few readers have said:

“Even Rain Is Just Water is a thought-provoking, tear-jerking and heart-wrenching memoir depicting the journey of a child as she endures developing tools to escape a stifling home environment. You’ll cheer her on as she approaches each heartache with strength and determination.”

BETTY TUCKER, author of Don’t Worry If the Mule Goes Blind

“WOW! Lynette’s account of rejection, revelation and redemption will evoke a myriad of emotions. Her story will offer hope to many. It’s proof that with faith, strength, courage, and determination you can move forward, no matter what obstacles you may face along the way.”

DONA M. DEANE, author of It’s All Up to You: Strive to Feel Better, Do Better and Live Better

“All through her childhood, Lyn knows that her mothers feels differently about her than she does about Lyn’s sister Ne-Ne. To escape what she does not understand, she embarks on a painful life filled with homelessness and trauma. Redemption will come at a price she cannot imagine. Thoughtfully and sensitively presented.

POLLY KRIZE, Netgalley Reviewer

“Like the flower coming up through the sidewalk, Lyn triumphs again and again.”

CHERILYN CHRISTEN CLOUGH  littleredsurvivor.com

“A remarkable and heart-wrenching accounting of Davis’ … undeniable courage and tolerance for suffering a lifetime of conflict, adversity and emotional abuse…”

D.G. KAYE, author of P.S. I Forgive You: A Broken Legacy and Conflicted Heart 

“A courageous voyage of one daughter’s remarkable journey in finding love, security and a place to call home against the demons of her past.”

MARY A PEREZ, author of Running in Hells: A Memoir of Grit and Grace

“This book tells the author’s incredible life story. The author has survived so much abuse, yet still has a strong faith in God. She is inspiring!”

CYNTHIA BAILEY-RUG Cynthiabaileyrug.wordpress.com

“Firstly, I love the title… This is a tale of God, belief and is beautifully told. I would recommend as a book club read as it asks as many questions as it answers.”

TRACY SHEPHARD, Netgalley Reviewer

“Great memoir! And I would highly recommend this book.

LISA CLARK, Netgally Reviewer

 

Read the first few chapters on Amazon’s Look Inside. If you would like to review Even Rain Is Just Water, contact me at lynettedavisauthor (at) gmail (dot) com before June 30th.

Thank you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Understanding and Healing the Scapegoat Within

Emerging From The Dark Night

offended

The family scapegoat receives the shadow projections of the family. They are the one that carries and tries to express qualities, needs, reactions and expressions which may not have had a chance or live in the family.  Often if we review the family history we will be able to see a pattern or something the scapegoat is trying to live for the family that could not be expressed, or struggled to be expressed over generations.

There is also collective element to the scapegoat which means certain qualities in any particular culture are accepted and are seen as valuable to express where as others may be demonised. Religious beliefs create the scapegoat by dictating what is “holy” and what is “demonic” and so create splits. The pervasive spread of the Catholic zeitgeist, for example, reveres qualities of self sacrifice, meekness, chastity and in many ways a repression of essential elements of…

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After Narcissistic Abuse

ChildAbuseImageWithHand1

1. REJECTING 

Narcissistic Parents or caregivers who display rejecting behavior toward a child will often [purposefully or unconsciously] let a child know, in a variety of ways, that he or she is unwanted. Putting down a child’s worth or belittling their needs is one form these types of emotional abuse may take. Other examples can include telling a child to leave or worse, to get out of your face, calling him names or telling the child that he is worthless, making a child the family scapegoat or blaming him for family/sibling problems. Refusing to talk to or holding a young child as he or she grows can also be considered abuse.

  • constant criticism
  • name-calling
  • telling child he/she is ugly
  • yelling or swearing at the child
  • frequent belittling and use of labels such as “stupid” or “idiot”
  • constant demeaning jokes
  • verbal humiliation
  • constant teasing about child’s body type and/or weight
  • expressing…

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Blood Relatives vs. Loyalty

Rebellious Scapegoat

Blood makes you related, loyalty makes you family.

This may explain why many adopted kids trust their foster parents more, rather than biological family.

Do you think blood related relationship wins all?

Photo credit : Pixabay – fancycrave1

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The Silent Treatment [Types of Emotional Child Abuse Series, Part 1]

The Invisible Scar

ignored [via tumblr]When you look up thedefinition of emotional child abuse, several examples are listed: giving the silent treatment, ranking children unnecessarily, being condescending, bunny boiling, gaslighting children, scapegoating, sabotaging, favoritism, triangulation, pathological (or compulsive) lying, smearing, corrupting, ignoring, corrupting, terrorizing, isolation, and inappropriate control. 

To better understand the different facets of emotional child abuse, we’ll be exploring one trait per post.

In this post, we’ll look more closely at the emotionally abusive form of child abuse called “the silent treatment” (also “withholding”). It is also used in adult relationships, but for the purpose and focus of The Invisible Scar, we’ll study the silent treatment as it relates to children.

No discussion of emotional abuse through words would be complete without including the absence of words as a form of abuse. This is commonly known as the ‘silent treatment.’ Abusers punish their victims by refusing to speak…

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Are you the Scapegoat in Your Family?

GentleKindness

Scapegoating is a term that is used for the one person in a dysfunctional family that is targeted by the abusive family member for receiving the most aggressive abuse.

Usually this person is targeted by the abuser because of their resistance to pretending that the household is normal.

If you were the truth teller in the family then you pointed out when boundaries were being crossed and when the other people were being mistreated.You were the one that probably defended siblings who were being abused. You may have tried to draw the abuse towards yourself in order to protect younger siblings from getting the brunt of it.

Very often the main abusive parent has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, although there are other personality disorders which cause people to abuse their children, like Malignant Borderline Personality Disorder. 

The narcissistic parent us the focal point of the family because they demand that…

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