Tag Archives: boundaries

Enmeshment – Separating Ourselves from the Narcissist

After Narcissistic Abuse

What Was Meant for Evil, God Uses for Good.

This post isn’t to glorify or laud the narcissist that intended to harm us with praise for helping us change. Not at all, in fact, this post is a testament to the power of the human spirit lit on fire, determined to heal itself and move past a traumatic encounter with a person who’s sinister character FORCED us to change.

Enmeshment is different than two people being very close. Close relationships are a wonderful part of life and often allow for appropriate independence within the relationship. Enmeshment, however, becomes a problem because the individual involved loses their own identity.  Narcissists prevent the autonomy we need in order to grow emotionally and individually.

These days, I am very much separated from the narcissist that abused me. I’ve gone on to forgive them and separated their character and actions from my life and core…

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Honor Thy Narcissistic Mother: the 4th Commandment and Going “No Contact”

A Word, Please. . .

Two weeks ago as I was crawling into bed, my phone pinged with a text from a childhood friend, Serina.  Little emoji party horns were all over it, with an invitation.  Her father was turning 90. Would my family celebrate with them?  Her family was the only family we knew when I was growing up, the weekend in the cabin family, the camping family, the chicken curry family (her dad is Pakistani), the family that came over for Thanksgiving dinner. There was one problem:  my mother would be there.

In May, I decided to go “No Contact” with my narcissistic mother. It was after my housewarming party, where she ignored me except to insult me, and later when I confronted her, gaslightedme.  Her snide comment that day had not been the apex of her cruelty. The most cruel? Years ago when I told her I was finally pregnant with a long awaited  3rd child…

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