Tag Archives: ACONs

News Flash: Changes Coming

broken-vessel

The Broken Vessel is moving. As many of you know, The Broken Vessel is a category on this blog that features posts about emotional abuse and the effects of emotional abuse, especially on ACoNs (adult children of narcissists) that I’ve used to raise awareness about emotional abuse.  However, this is a writing blog and The Broken Vessel has outgrown is space on my this blog. So, I’m moving it to my website which is still under construction until April 1st. However, you’re welcome to take a peek. You can find my website at LynetteDavisAuthor.wordpress.com. If you do take a peek, please let me know what you think.

In it’s new home, The Broken Vessel will be much broader, and will feature weekly posts about narcissism, emotional abuse, emotional child abuse, PTSD, complex PTSD and dysfunctional family relationships, in addition to inspirational posts, uplifting quotes, as well as my thoughts and reflections on books on the subject of narcissism, and its affect on ACoNs (adult children of narcissists).

Also, for those of you who have been asking, pre-orders for my debut memoir–Even Rain Is Just Water will available April 1st. For every book that is sold during the month of April (Child Abuse Prevention Month), $1 will be donated to Kids Central Inc. This child welfare agency, located in Central Florida, develops and manages a comprehensive community-based system of care for abused, neglected and abandoned children and their families. You can visit them at kidscentralinc.org.

 

 

 

MLK and Advice for the ACoN Soul

Being a white girl, living in a white neighborhood and not knowing any people of color, Martin Luther King Jr. was never mentioned in my childhood home. His birthday was never celebrated as a holid…

Source: MLK and Advice for the ACoN Soul

The Invisible Scar

what-really-happened-finding-out-you-head-an-emotionally-abusive-childhood-lgHave you recently come to the realization that you’ve had an emotionally abusive childhood? If so, that awakening to the truth can be brutal. But do know that you’re not alone.

At The Invisible Scar, I receive tons of emails from people who have had this epiphany. And I tell them that, though this discovery is a hard one, you can get through this difficult time and move along the healing journey.

By popular demand, I’ve collected my articles covering that first part of the healing journey—waking up to the truth of your emotionally abusive childhood —and put them in a PDF for you. The 11 articles have been updated and expanded for a longer read.

This 92-page PDF is not intended to give professional advice nor take the place of a therapist. The articles are fueled by my extensive reading about emotional child abuse, stories shared by…

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Emotionally Neglected Children May Feel Like They Are Ghosts

The Invisible Scar

[photo credit: flickr user Andrea Much][photo credit: flickr user Andrea Much]

“Emotional Neglect is the white space in the family picture; the background rather than the foreground. It is insidious and overlooked while it does its silent damage to people’s lives.” (Dr. Jonice Webb)

Editor’s note: I use “he” because “he or she” can interrupt the flow of sentences. But abuse can happen to any gender.

An emotionally abused child may sometimes feel like a ghost in his own home. He passes through its corridors, affects its surroundings, interacts (as best as he can) with the other people in the house… but he feels like no one quite sees him.

Or listens to him.

Or understands him.

Or cares for him.

Or loves him.

People outside the house can see this child. And from the outside, these neighbors, family friends, relatives, and teachers may see this gleaming, shiny family, paragons of the community, and believe…

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It’s not the load that breaks us down–heaven knows if we could see it all at once we might just shift our hips and find a better way to carry it–no, it’s the shrapnel of lif…

Source: Healing from Hidden Abuse Book Review

22 things loving families don’t do.

Lucky Otters Haven

dontdothis

  1. They don’t favor one child over another.
  2. They don’t give their children “mixed” or conflicting messages.
  3. They don’t teach their children that only material things or financial success have value and denigrate qualities like compassion, empathy, and love as “weaknesses.”
  4. They don’t disinherit their own children.  If an adult child is irresponsible with finances, they set up a trust or distribute it as income or through someone else who is trustworthy.  But they don’t disown.  That’s nothing but a slap in the face.
  5. They don’t reward a child and then punish them for the same thing later.
  6. They don’t threaten a child with “reform school,” being given up for adoption, etc.
  7. They don’t squelch, punish or discourage the honest expression of emotion, even if it’s negative.
  8. They don’t belittle a child’s talents or accomplishments
  9. They don’t tell their child they are “perfect,” especially for things they didn’t have to work…

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Blood Relatives vs. Loyalty

Rebellious Scapegoat

Blood makes you related, loyalty makes you family.

This may explain why many adopted kids trust their foster parents more, rather than biological family.

Do you think blood related relationship wins all?

Photo credit : Pixabay – fancycrave1

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Four Sanity-Saving Tips for Ignoring Mother’s Day

The Invisible Scar

[photo credit: flickr user missy.killer!] [photo credit: flickr user missy.killer!] How should you celebrate Mother’s Day when your mother was emotionally abusive?

Short answer: You don’t have to celebrate it.

Short answer for adult survivors who are mothers: You celebrate your being a mom, and you reflect, pray, and learn about being a better one every day.

Last year, I wrote about celebrating Mother’s Day when you have an abusive mother. But this year, I wanted to write about another option: ignoring the holiday altogether.

You can ignore Mother’s Day, you know.

You’re not under any moral obligation to celebrate this holiday. After all, it didn’t even come to existence until 1914! Anna Jarvis started Mother’s Day in the United States to honor her mom’s life and inspire people to honor their own moms. But the holiday got quickly out of control, with huge candy corporations and greeting-card companies exploiting the holiday…

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Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers [Book Review]

The Invisible Scar

[photo credit: flickr user Stephanie Overton] [photo credit: flickr user Stephanie Overton] Some daughters grow up with a nagging sense of something not quite right in their relationship with their mothers, though the daughters can’t place their finger on what’s off exactly. It’s a vague, pervasive feeling of being unloved and ignored. They feel like somehow, in some way, the loving relationship that other people seem to have with their parents is eluding them.

These daughters may not even know they are being emotionally abused. They’ve been conditioned to endure—from their mothers—constant demands for the spotlight, attacks on their personhood, razor-sharp verbal abuse, debilitating mind games, the Greek chorus of belittling comments implanted in their heads by their mothers, and so much more. These daughters just want their mothers will treat them lovingly… but their mothers only care about being adored.

Perhaps you, too, have felt something was terribly wrong in your relationship with your…

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