1. This is a fantastic article. Thank you for sharing. I appreciated the tough love voice written from a Christian perspective. Christians can be easily manipulated by narcissists because we quickly feel distressed in thought we may have harmed another, as well strive for peace through forgiveness. I felt a sense of relief in knowing it is okay to cut oneself loose from others who as narcissists have manipulated me.

    1. Thank you for commenting. I try to use this space–The Broken Vessel–to bring about awareness to narcissism and emotional abuse as well as encourage healing. I thought today, Sunday, was particularly fitting for this post. The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy. Those of us who have lived with malignant narcissists understand this all too well. And yes, it’s perfect fully okay to walk away.

  2. Thank you so much for this! I’m reblogging, with comments on the original post. Be well and take care❤❤❤

    1. My pleasure Laura! As Lane attests, it’s a fantastic article! I’ll stop by the original post in a little while and read your comment.

      1. Thanks, Lynette! As always, you know how to pick ’em.

  3. Reblogged this on Bipolar For Life and commented:

    Thank you so much for your wonderful, affirming post. Your own writing, bolstered by the meme collection and

    One thing I must take issue with is the statement that taking on narcissistic traits, if one grows up in such a home, is voluntary. It is not. If the only coping mechanisms you have ever known are drama, tantrums, accusations, the silent treatment, etc, it takes time to figure out that these are dysfunctional and abusive. And since Adult Children of Narcissists (ACoNs) often are drawn into adult relationships with narcissists, the story tends to perpetuate itself down the generations. After all, when we meet someone who “feels like we have known them all our lives,” well, we probably have, because they “feel like home,” our family of origin.

    The first thing we must learn is insight: it isn’t our fault, we are not defective, we do not deserve to be treated like a mouse being tortured by a cat.

    Some people are fortunate to realize that something is very wrong–usually after multiple failed relationships, suicide attempts, or other catastrophic life events–and seek help, sometimes from the right person, like a good therapist, and sometimes from….someone who “feels like home,” claiming that they want to help, but really being a wolf in sheep’s clothing, as we unfortunately see with some religious leaders. I have even had a narc therapist! She had a hand in destroying my marriage. I sat there mesmerized while she smiled and preened, not realizing what it was about her that was so familiar (she was like my mother, who used to court my boyfriends), until it was too late. She stood up, announced that it was her opinion that we should divorce, and left us sitting on her couch looking at the floor.

    1. I agree with you here. I had already raised my three children before I realized that I had (unconsciously) adopted some of my mother’s narcissistic traits while raising them. Although there were some things that I had experienced that I would never do to my children, there were some things that I thought were normal. They weren’t. They were narcissistic but it was all that I knew and had internalized them–faulty parenting skills; mainly, I think, because I wanted to believe that there was something worth salvaging in that relationship. Sometimes, good intentions are not enough though. It takes awareness–which takes years of self actualization and discovery. Through writing, reading and blogs, I’m still learning just how deep the damage to my psyche was.

      Now when I meet someone and I feel like I’ve known them for a long time, I know its “familiar spirits” trying to gain entrance again. Instead of using it as a guide, as I’ve done in the past, my guard is up. I’m trying to change the trajectory of my life, not relive my childhood. We have to be “as wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”

      1. Whew, that’s a tall order. I believe you are spot on there, as that is the ultimate task of adult self actualization. When something is not in the conscious mind, it is not possible to heal. I’ve been aware of that, and I literally can’t count the number of “self actualization” workshops, retreats, courses, books read, writings done….And still I’m finding inaccessible injuries from babyhood, that I know are there but can only feel. Hypnosis, check. Past lie regression, check. Transformational therapy, check. Boy, have I lined other people’s pockets! Sigh.

  4. suffering under a narc is one of the worst form of abuses one can bear.

    1. Yes it is. It’s called emotional abuse.

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